An Open Love Letter to Trader Joe’s

With a nod to E.B.B.*

Mike Mozart — Flickr

My Dearest Trader Joe’s,

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
I love thee, to the depth and breadth and height
My arms can reach, when Joe-Joe’s are in sight
To the ends of earth, I’ll sing your praise

From organic ground beef to mayonnaise
Carnivore to vegan, you’re a delight
The most super of markets, you’ll incite
chaos when out of two-buck chardonnays

Syrah-Soaked Tuscan, Chianti Salami
Marcona Almonds, Raisin Rosemary Crisps
Fig Butter, Blue Cheese Olives, and Truffle Dip
You’re my go-to monger for charcuterie

Plump grapes, dried apricots, Triple Cream Brie
Greater provisions than a cargo ship
With some epicurean showmanship
My hors d’oeuvres boards become Insta-worthy

Your zesty spices are pantry staples
E’eryday Season, 21 Salute
Umami Blend trends, but there’s no dispute
The rule of Everything but the Bagel

When prepping to set the holiday table
Pumpkin to peppermint, nary time to loot
Cranberry tartes, Turkey & Stuffing en croute
Advent Calendars and butter with maple

But the main object of this shopper’s affection
Is the grand assortment of Trader confections:

Madeleines, French Macarons​
Snickerdoodles, Blueberry Scones
​​Speculoos, Jingle Jangle
​​Stroopwafel, Pecan Kringle

Cheesecake, Carrot Cake, cakes with molten lava
Mochi, Hold the Cone, and ice cream laced with java
Triple Ginger Snaps, Dunkers — Chocolate Chip
​​Sea Salt Caramels, Mallows drenched in mint​ ​​​ ​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​ ​

One last confession: Your congenial crew —
The courteous team of laid-back extroverts
Decked out in broad smiles and bright Hawaiian shirts —
Is my sultry culinary rendezvous

And so,
Joseph, my merchant beau, should the grocer gods choose
I shall love thee until my credit you refuse


Your devoted patron,
Lisa


*P.S. My sincerest gratitude (and apologies) to Elizabeth Barrett Browning for her poetic inspiration


Originally published on @Medium.com

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